How To Help Children Who Are Being Bullied
In light of October being Bullying prevention month, it is important to open the conversation around bullying. Bullying affects roughly 20% of children between the ages of 12-18 (National Center for Education Statistics, 2019). Further, over 150,000 children a year miss school due to their bullying experiences (Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs; ASPA 2021). Therefore, it is important to talk with our children about bullying to help being awareness and hopefully mitigate its effects.
Bullying comes in all forms. Children may experience cyberbullying, verbal and physical harassment, and passive aggression. Bullying does not just happen in schools, but can happen anywhere, such as: at after school activities, sports games/practices, and friends’ houses. However, regardless of how the bullying is experienced, the effects it can have on a child can feel severe. When a child is experiencing bullying we may notice a change in their day to day attitude and demeanor, a reluctance to attend events or school functions, increased emotional outbursts, or potentially self-harm.
If you begin to notice signs of bullying or hear reports of bullying, here are three easy steps to help start the conversation:
1. Acknowledge your child’s emotions. This may seem easy, but when the school year is busy it can often feel like we are on autopilot trying to get through the day and we miss moments for connection. So taking a moment to slow down and notice how your child is feeling. Ex: You seem like you are feeling sad today.
2. Offer your support. Beyond just acknowledging the emotion, let your child know that you are there for them. Maybe they want a hug, to talk, or to do an activity with you. Letting them know you’re there has the potential to help them feel less alone as well as lets them know you see them. Ex. You seem like you are feeling sad today, would you like to talk about it?
3. Show them you are there. Sometimes children do not want to talk about it or they do not know what type of support they want and need. So showing them you care by offering an activity to do together, writing them a note for school, or setting up a time to talk together are a few ways to help show them that you are there if they need it. Sometimes it is as simple as letting them know you love them and are always there. Ex. I am here for you if you ever want to talk
These three steps can not only help to open the conversation around bullying but also around other experiences your child may having during their school day. As the school year ramps up and schedules become more hectic, remember to take time to connect with your family! Together, we can build strong, resilient children and families!
References
Assistant Secretary for Public Affairs (ASPA). (2021, September 9). Facts about bullying.
StopBullying.gov. Retrieved September 22, 2022, from https://www.stopbullying.gov/resources/facts
National Center for Education Statistics. "Bullying: Fast Facts.” Accessed Aug. 21, 2019. https://nces.ed.gov/fastfacts/display.asp?id=719
About the Author: Samantha earned her M.S. in Marriage and Family Therapy at Virginia Tech. She enjoys working with children, adolescents, parents, and families to address varying concerns, including anxiety, depression, emotional regulation, and school/home behavioral issues.